what is your deepest fear?
What is your deepest fear?
Mine is the fear of disappointment.
I’ve always known that I hated being the reason why someone is troubled, worried, and most of all unsatisfied. To tell you the truth, I don’t even know how it started. It could be the people who always expected more of me or the high expectations that I set for myself.
There were a few instances though, where I truly felt helpless and heartbroken because of this fear. To cope with the surge of unidentifiable emotions, my body takes control. Tears start clouding my vision, and everything looks as though I’m looking through broken glass.
I cry.
It's my defense mechanism. It’s my shield from all the difficult and peculiar feelings that rush through my every being in those very moments.
Why am I afraid of this?
We all crave praise. Most of the time, it isn’t even praise we seek. That craving can often be easily satisfied with the simplest of words- “ I’m proud of you”.
We all seek approval, and usually from the people most important to us.
We all long for love. Its warmth and comfort. Its strength and security.
But somehow, that aching fear of disappointment compels me to believe that all I crave, seek, and long for, can be effortlessly washed away by a person who happens to be the slightest bit unhappy with me.
How I cope:
Remind yourself to breathe.
Cry if you want to.
Express your fears and your doubts to someone you trust- talking makes it easier.
It’s okay to feel lost sometimes. Aren’t we all?
